1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

2. There are plenty of ways to enter a swimming pool. The stairs ain’t one.

3. The man at the BBQ is the closest thing we have to a king.

4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially in the end zone.

6. Request the late check-out.

7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.

9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of fuel.

10. Don’t fill up on bread.

11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.

12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.

14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.

15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.

16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.

17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.

18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.

19. Never turn down a breath mint.

20. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.

21. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.

22. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.

23. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

24. Eat lunch with the new kid.

25. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.

26. Ask your mum to play. She won’t let you win.

27. See it on the big screen.

28. Give credit. Take the blame.

29. Write down your dreams.

 

Orignal Source – Aaron Conrad – https://aaronconrad.com/2017/08/23/rules-for-my-son-2

Part 4 The Pregnancy ….

This is a continuation from Part 1Part 2 & Part 3 of my journal / journey through the IVF process & the thoughts that go with it.

—————————————————-

The Pregnancy thing

A normal pregnancy is difficult enough but with a twin one, everything gets twice as big twice as fast, and that’s not just the mum! 2 cots / 2 car seats / twice as many vests / nappies to buy in bulk to stock up. House extensions bedroom / nursery move round.

The IVF thing

Something they don’t tell you but I’ve now found is really common is the disconnect for the man in an IVF pregnancy.  I really struggled to come to terms with the fact I didn’t feel part of this at all, I was all over the 1st one, went to all the scans, had every scan picture blu-tacked to my PC screen at work, felt every kick.

With the IVF pregnancy, I didn’t feel the urge for any of that, was it just because it wasn’t the first-born? Is everyone like this on the second pregnancy or was something deeper happening? I struggled with this for several months. Combined with being in the middle of a massive project at work meant the first scan I attended was almost at the end of the 2nd trimester.

It was only after talking to a men’s IVF group I found it was almost “normal” some found that after the first scan they connected or for some it was even at the birth when it finally clicked into place.

It essentially comes down to the notion that you had nothing to do with the creation of this child / children, the mother still carries for 9 months as normal and has that symbiotic bonding time, where as a father, you almost had zero part to play in it all. The entire decision-making process taken away from you. You have done no more that sign a piece of paper and nip to the loo for a couple of minutes.

So here we go just days left and the world changes again!

PoBz

(Father of 1 & Expectant Father of another 2 with very little hair / sanity left)

Absinthe

Author’s Note: This article was updated on April 30, 2008 to reflect changes in absinthe’s legal status in the United States.

Picture yourself at the end of the nineteenth century in France. The Bohemian movement is in full swing. Revolutions in art and literature are brewing, technology is advancing rapidly, and more and more people are putting their creative efforts into the expansion of culture. You walk into a Paris café and see someone sitting at a corner table, scribbling or sketching madly, eyes fiery with enthusiasm. More than likely you see on the same table a glass containing a cloudy liquid—absinthe, the legendary “green muse” to which many artists of the day attribute their creative insights.

Absinthe is among the most popular drinks around this time—not only in France but across Europe and even in the United States. But it is more than just a tasty alcoholic beverage: it’s a ritual. To prepare your absinthe in the traditional way, you begin by pouring about an ounce of the greenish liquid into a glass. On top of the glass you place a flat, slotted spoon on which a single sugar cube rests. You pour cold water over the sugar cube—slowly enough that it dissolves by the time your glass is full. As the water mixes with the clear liquid it turns cloudy—an effect called louching, caused by the oils in the absinthe. Finally, you stir the liquid with the spoon, and then drink. (A more theatrical variation on this ritual, performed by Johnny Depp’s character in the 2001 film “From Hell,” is to soak the sugar with absinthe first, and then set it on fire, allowing the heat to melt the sugar before you mix in the water.)

Absinthesis
What you are drinking is a spirit made by distilling herbs. But that could describe many drinks; what makes absinthe special is the presence of a particular herb—Artemisia absinthium, commonly known as wormwood. This concoction was invented in 1792 by a French doctor named Pierre Ordinaire. While living in Switzerland, Ordinaire was trying to create a patent medicine to cure stomach ailments. He tried wormwood in one of his recipes—along with anise and a variety of other herbs—and found it very successful. Eventually the formula became commercialized, and absinthe began to shift from an over-the-counter remedy to a refreshing drink, acquiring the nickname “the Green Fairy.” Absinthe has a high alcohol content—nearly 70%—and a slightly bitter flavor. Adding water and sugar before drinking it worked wonders in improving its mass appeal.

Unlike other alcoholic beverages, which have a sedative effect, absinthe was reputed to provide exceptional clarity of thought. Artists relied on it for inspiration and imagery. Among those who swore by absinthe were Van Gogh, Degas, Toulouse-Lautrec, Picasso, Hemingway, and Edgar Allen Poe. Oscar Wilde was a fan too, and was famously quoted as saying: “After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.” Behind this wry commentary, though, was a troubling implication. An increasing number of people became convinced that absinthe was not a benign stimulant but a dangerous drug. Among those who drank absinthe excessively, there were numerous reports of hallucinations, convulsions, and even insanity.

It’s Not Easy Being Green
In 1905, public anxiety came to a head when a Swiss farmer named Jean Lanfray shot his whole family. The newspapers were quick to point out that Lanfray had been drinking absinthe, not bothering to mention that he had also consumed a great deal of wine and other spirits that day. This was the final straw for those who vilified absinthe, and political pressure to rid society of this evil quickly mounted. In the years that followed, absinthe was banned in most parts of Europe, as well as in the United States.

The deleterious effects of absinthe were typically attributed to a substance called thujone, a component of wormwood. Nowadays, scientists believe there’s little or no truth to the notion that it is a dangerous drug. Every modern study of thujone suggests that the amount required to harm human beings is many times that found in even the strongest brands of absinthe from a century ago. In fact, to ingest enough thujone to do any damage, you’d have to drink so much absinthe that you’d have died—or nearly so—from alcohol poisoning. Thus one common explanation for the disturbing behavior witnessed in absinthe drinkers is that they were simply drunk—a problem, for sure, but not one unique to absinthe. However, a more interesting explanation is based on evidence that unscrupulous absinthe producers in the nineteenth century, in an effort to lower their costs, added a variety of toxic chemicals to their absinthe—such as a copper compound used to provide a green color. The effect of these toxins—added to that of the alcohol itself—is a more plausible cause of the legendary absinthe madness.

The Glass is Greener on the Other Side of the Fence
All over the world, absinthe is enjoying a comeback, as the old laws prohibiting its manufacture and sale are being revised or at least reinterpreted. There have been two main legal sticking points over the years: thujone content and labeling. Both the United States and the European Union have long had rules requiring thujone levels in beverages of this sort to be less than 10 parts per million. (The U.S. Food and Drug Administration actually calls any beverage meeting that test “thujone-free.”) But that’s more or less a moot point, because most brands of absinthe sold in the 19th century were already within this limit—not that it matters much anyway, given the research that shows the thujone wasn’t the problem in the first place.

A bigger issue is that regulatory agencies in some countries (including the U.S. and France) still don’t want anyone selling something that’s called absinthe, even if that’s precisely what it is, largely because of a perception that this word connotes a drug of some sort. So absinthe distillers have reached compromises with various government agencies such as using the word absinthe only as part of a phrase, or in smaller type, or otherwise adjusting the label to make it sound less like you’re going to be drinking something that’s likely to make you hallucinate.

As a result of lengthy and expensive legal wrangling over a period of several years, in mid-2007 the United States finally began granting permission for genuine absinthe to be imported, manufactured, and sold. You can now buy brands such as Lucid (made in France), Kübler (made in Switzerland), and St. George (the first brand to be made legally in the U.S. since 1912). In Europe, many brands and formulations are available, with some trying to get as close as possible to the original taste, and others going in more trendy directions. (You can even find red, blue, and clear absinthe.)

Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Canada, meanwhile, never bothered to restrict the sale of absinthe because it was never perceived to be a social or political problem there. I had my first encounter with the Green Fairy while I was living in Canada several years ago, when absinthe was still unavailable in the U.S. I experienced a subtle, but noticeable, increase in the clarity and vividness of my thoughts shortly after drinking absinthe—a much different effect than I’d have expected from alcohol alone. Then again, I couldn’t say with complete certainty that the effect was not imagined, and there was an additional complication: the uncertain authenticity of the formula.

The only brand of absinthe commercially available in Canada at that time was Hill’s Absinth, made in the Czech Republic. Absinthe experts roundly dismiss Hill’s as undrinkable—a pale imitation of real absinthe. Personally, I quite liked it—but then, I had no experience with other varieties to serve as a frame of reference. (I also found it mildly ironic that detractors should use the word “undrinkable” because that is exactly the definition of the Greek word from which the name absinthe is derived.)

I moved to France in 2007, right around the time legal absinthes were starting to appear in the U.S. I’ve had the pleasure of sampling quite a few varieties of authentic absinthe here. It’s easy to find bars in Paris with wide selections of absinthe on the shelves, and there’s even a little shop called Vert d’Absinthe that sells only absinthe and related paraphernalia. To be honest, although I’ve enjoyed every absinthe I’ve tried, my unsophisticated palate sometimes has difficulty differentiating the taste of absinthe from that of pastis, a similar (but wormwood-free) anise-based distilled beverage that rose to popularity when absinthe was banned. (During the time when absinthe was legally unavailable, numerous companies began producing pastis with names suggestive of absinthe—brands like Absente, Versinthe, and La Muse Verte.) I can’t say the absinthe I’ve had here has made me more creative or clear-headed, but perhaps I simply haven’t been diligent enough in my experimentation. I’ll press on. —Joe Kissell

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More Information about Absinthe…

There are plenty of absinthe resources on the Web. One of my favorites is la Fée Verte—an extensive guide to absinthe, including history, recipes, art, and a buyer’s guide. There’s also The Virtual Absinthe Museum and the Absinthe Buyers Guide, which among other things shows pictures of many different brands, and suggests sources for purchasing them. And, of course, the Wikipedia has a detailed article on Absinthe.

The Mystery of the Green Menace by Brian Ashcraft in Wired covers the valiant efforts of Ted Breaux to reverse-engineer classic absinthe formulas and reintroduce them in France.

David Lebovitz, in his article Vert d’Absinthe: Absinthe in Paris, takes readers on a tour of a little shop in Paris that sells only absinthe.

Articles about absinthe’s newly legal status in the United States include:

I also suggest checking out Yes, Absinthe Is Legal in the US and Absinthe in the US – Which Are Real? at the Wormwood Society and Absinthe in America – US Legalization in 2007 at the Virtual Absinthe Museum.

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One of the best books on absinthe is Barnaby Conrad’s Absinthe: History in a Bottle. There’s also a novel called Absinthe by Christophe Bataille (and yes, it actually is a story about absinthe). For a detailed look at the impact of absinthe on art, check out Absinthe: the Cocaine of the Nineteenth Century—A History of the Hallucinogenic Drug and Its Effect on Artitsts and Writers in Europe and the United States by Doris Lanier. (Don’t you hate it when they give away the ending in the title?) And just for the sake of completeness, I should mention a slim booklet Aleister Crowley wrote on the use of absinthe in New Orleans around the time of Prohibition—Absinthe: The Green Goddess.

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Absinthe figured prominently in Moulin Rouge, both as the drink and as the imaginary Green Fairy herself. Likewise, the film From Hell is worth seeing just for the classic absinthe scene. (Warning: absinthe and opium do not mix.)

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Absinthe is featured in a number of famous paintings, including The Absinthe Drinker (Manet, 1859), L’Absinthe (Degas, 1876), Café at Arles (Gauguin, 1888), and Monsieur Boileau at the Cafe (Toulouse-Lautrec, 1893). In addition, there are quite a few well-known prints advertising various brands of absinthe. Examples are Absinthe Robette by Gustav Klimt, Absinthe—J. Édouard Pernot and Absinthe Ducros Fils by Leonetto Cappiello, and Absinthe Parisienne (artist unknown).

Hill’s Absinth has a very nice Web site—including a list of all the stores in British Columbia where you can buy it. I enjoyed it myself, but keep in mind that the brand is deprecated by those in the know.

A (much) higher-end product is Sebor Absinth, which is made in England and claims to contain the highest concentration of wormwood of any commercial brand.

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Source: Interesting Thing of the Day

by Morgen Jahnke

World-famous architects like Frank Gehry, Renzo Piano, and Rem Koolhaas often make headlines for their daring and creative buildings, but the vast majority of architects spend their time on more down-to-earth projects, like schools and fire houses. Their work is dictated by the needs of their clients, and their creativity is in service to solving any problems these needs might entail. But what happens when architects are given free rein? What do architects do for fun?

It is easy to imagine that Julia Morgan, the architect who designed William Randolph Hearst’s estate at San Simeon, enjoyed creating that fantastical world to Hearst’s specifications, or that Eduard Riedel, the architect of King Ludwig II of Bavaria’s Neuschwanstein Castle, found some pleasure in recreating a medieval castle in the 19th century. But these architects were still limited by the wishes and whims of their employers, unable to express themselves fully.

In comparison, the English-born Welsh architect Sir Clough Williams-Ellis (1883–1978) found a way to realize his dearest architectural dreams on his own terms. After purchasing a particularly beautiful piece of property on the northern Welsh coast from his uncle in 1925, Clough set out to create a wonderland of architectural whimsy that he called Portmeirion (after the coastal setting and the Welsh name of the local county, Merioneth). The result of Clough’s work is a colorful Italianate village of cottages, towers, fountains, and cobbled streets that has drawn comparisons to Clough’s twin inspirations: the medieval hill towns of Tuscany and the world-renowned Italian coastal town of Portofino.

It Takes a Village
When Clough bought the Portmeirion site in 1925, his vision was not to simply construct individual buildings, but to create an entire town. As The Architects Journal noted of the project in 1926, the “results of his [Clough’s] scheme will be significant and should do much to shake the current notion that although houses must be designed with due care, towns may grow up by chance.” Over the next fifty years, this vision of Portmeirion began to take shape under Clough’s leadership, with construction occurring in two phases: from 1925 to 1939, and from 1954 to 1976.

Another part of Clough’s vision for Portmeirion was that it help to prove that beautiful natural spaces could be developed for commercial use without ruining their beauty, what he called “that strange necessity.” His choice of this particular site, a peninsula in the Snowdonia region of Wales, was no accident. He wanted to draw visitors to the area, and the balmy microclimate and coastal views of Portmeirion proved attractive even when the town had not been fully developed. In fact, early on Clough raised money for the construction costs by operating a hotel out of an existing building.

In this respect, it could be argued that Clough was a forerunner to the modern pursuit of sustainable development, the attempt to provide economic benefit while preserving natural resources. Clough cared deeply about environmental protection; he not only served on various councils related to this goal, but was a strong advocate for the creation of national parks in England and Wales, most especially for Snowdonia National Park in Wales.

Clough’s architectural credo, “Cherish the Past, Adorn the Present, Construct for the Future,” is in keeping with his passion for sustainability. At Portmeirion, Clough honored the past by salvaging old structures from demolition sites, relocating and renovating them to become part of what he called his “home for fallen buildings.” The vivid colors and enchanting streets of the town show Clough’s obvious love for “adorning the present,” while his larger vision of preserving the environment by pursuing limited economic development gives meaning to “constructing for the future.”

Escape to Portmeirion
Portmeirion has become a prime tourist destination for visitors to North Wales; visitors can see the town during the day, or may opt to stay the night in the main hotel, individual cottages, or at the newly renovated Castell Deudraeth, a Victorian castellated mansion on the estate. Tourists are drawn by the town’s legendary beauty, but it does have another claim to fame.

In 1966, Portmeirion was the setting for the filming of the British TV show The Prisoner, starring the popular stage and screen actor Patrick McGoohan. Although the show only ran for 17 episodes in 1967 and 1968, it became an enormous hit, and fans continue to be interested in every aspect of its production, including where it was filmed. As part of this interest, the official fan club of The Prisoner, Six of One, holds a convention in Portmeirion every year.

In these and other ways, the popularity of the town Sir Clough Williams-Ellis built lives on, nearly thirty years after his death. Although he may have created Portmeirion to satisfy his own architectural visions, he succeeded in bringing these dreams to life for the benefit of countless others. —Morgen Jahnke

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More Information about Portmeirion…

The official Portmeirion Web site is a good place to visit for news, visitor information, and history of the town.

Virtual Portmeirion, The Folly Pages, and the Wikipedia provide useful background information on Portmeirion.

Sir Clough Williams-Ellis’s daughter, Susan Williams-Ellis, founded Portmeirion Pottery in 1960, which has become well-known for its beautiful products.

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One of my favorite travel writers, Jan Morris, has recently published a book about Portmeirion in honor of its 80th Anniversary: Portmeirion.

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The complete series of The Prisoner is now available on DVD from Amazon.

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Part 3 A journeys end ….

This is a continuation from Part 1 & Part 2 of my journal / journey through the IVF process & the thoughts that go with it.


So, as we come to the end of the journey and the more astute of you will have noticed the title doesn’t say failed in it anymore! After 105 Injections (Another 198 to go still), 749 Tablets, 20+ Appointments, 10 Months & 3 rounds of IVF we did it!

It is very early days but the other half is carrying a couple (yes you read that right!) of new additions to the household.

As journeys go this has been an arduous one for us both, personally it has pushed me close to breaking point emotionally, mentally & financially and is something I hope none of my friends ever has to go through themselves. Without the support of 2 strong families around us I don’t know how we would have made it through these multiple rounds of IVF each one harder than the last.

I seriously don’t know how I would have coped with another failure, I had nothing left to give and was truly drained of all 3.

We did find solace & comfort in the online Facebook IVF groups, but even at times that was hard as more and more people posted their successes as we found only failure.

Even though we only started IVF earlier this year (approximately 10 months ago) it feels like years have passed, with our lives, careers, holidays all on hold. In fact we’ve been together 8 years this year and we’ve only ever been on 2 holidays and one of them was the year after we met & the other was the honeymoon 5 years ago.

Now our IVF journey ends and we begin a new one as a family of 5, now comes the search for bigger cars, house extensions, double buggies, twice as many nappies etc.

The other upside of twins will hopefully be less arguing when picking names & God parents as there is twice as many spaces to fill this time, although the name suggestions Mrs S keeps coming out with I’m sure she’s a closet hippy! She didn’t like the lets name one each suggestion though, mainly because she knows I would pick Thor Oakenshield or Loki Morningstar.

As these kids have already cost us the same as a mid-size family saloon I’m also very tempted to name one Ford & the other Mondeo, but I don’t think she’ll will let me do that either.

I’m very glad this journey has come to an end successfully and we can move on with the rest of our lives. If you have gone through this already I’m sure you can understand what we went through. If you are going through it, I feel for you and I’m here if you need to talk about it. If you’re not, thank whoever you believe in that you’re not.

If you’ve been with me all the way I hope you enjoyed reading the journey, it’s been a useful cathartic output for me and I enjoyed it even if you didn’t. 🙂

If this was your 1st one please go back and read the 1st 2 parts as well (Part 1 & Part 2) and I hope you find them enlightening and slightly humorous in parts.

Thanks to everyone who read / commented / supported us along the way, it’s surprising how much a how you doing text or thinking of you both message on Facebook goes.

Most people don’t know what to say and just avoid you altogether, but it’s the closest friends that know it’s just any distraction and the odd how you holding up mate that reminds you that there is people outside the IVF bubble you’re in and that they are concerned but sometimes just scared to ask in case its bad news. The recent scope advert for disability actually had some parallels. (Apart from the introduce yourself bit)

Hopefully other friends who’ve been getting a bit tetchy with me will now understand why I’ve be preoccupied / unavailable for lads nights out this past 12 months, at the end of the day getting Mrs S through this IVF have been priority 1 and any slight hiccup with it, it’s been my job to fix / smooth over / reassure that everything is going to be OK while under the surface panicking like hell myself & trying not to show it.

Right I’m off to stockpile on pallets of nappies & wipes and as I’ve twice as many to buy this time make sure you go out and buy a copy of my new book 50 Shades of Blonde! – 50 Shades of Blonde Book

As I said this is the end of our IVF journey but the beginning of a twin pregnancy, so I may well keep posting updates if anyone’s interested.

PoBz

(Father of 1 & Expectant Father of another 2 with very little hair / sanity left)