Posts Tagged ‘age’

Part 3 A journeys end ….

This is a continuation from Part 1 & Part 2 of my journal / journey through the IVF process & the thoughts that go with it.


So, as we come to the end of the journey and the more astute of you will have noticed the title doesn’t say failed in it anymore! After 105 Injections (Another 198 to go still), 749 Tablets, 20+ Appointments, 10 Months & 3 rounds of IVF we did it!

It is very early days but the other half is carrying a couple (yes you read that right!) of new additions to the household.

As journeys go this has been an arduous one for us both, personally it has pushed me close to breaking point emotionally, mentally & financially and is something I hope none of my friends ever has to go through themselves. Without the support of 2 strong families around us I don’t know how we would have made it through these multiple rounds of IVF each one harder than the last.

I seriously don’t know how I would have coped with another failure, I had nothing left to give and was truly drained of all 3.

We did find solace & comfort in the online Facebook IVF groups, but even at times that was hard as more and more people posted their successes as we found only failure.

Even though we only started IVF earlier this year (approximately 10 months ago) it feels like years have passed, with our lives, careers, holidays all on hold. In fact we’ve been together 8 years this year and we’ve only ever been on 2 holidays and one of them was the year after we met & the other was the honeymoon 5 years ago.

Now our IVF journey ends and we begin a new one as a family of 5, now comes the search for bigger cars, house extensions, double buggies, twice as many nappies etc.

The other upside of twins will hopefully be less arguing when picking names & God parents as there is twice as many spaces to fill this time, although the name suggestions Mrs S keeps coming out with I’m sure she’s a closet hippy! She didn’t like the lets name one each suggestion though, mainly because she knows I would pick Thor Oakenshield or Loki Morningstar.

As these kids have already cost us the same as a mid-size family saloon I’m also very tempted to name one Ford & the other Mondeo, but I don’t think she’ll will let me do that either.

I’m very glad this journey has come to an end successfully and we can move on with the rest of our lives. If you have gone through this already I’m sure you can understand what we went through. If you are going through it, I feel for you and I’m here if you need to talk about it. If you’re not, thank whoever you believe in that you’re not.

If you’ve been with me all the way I hope you enjoyed reading the journey, it’s been a useful cathartic output for me and I enjoyed it even if you didn’t. 🙂

If this was your 1st one please go back and read the 1st 2 parts as well (Part 1 & Part 2) and I hope you find them enlightening and slightly humorous in parts.

Thanks to everyone who read / commented / supported us along the way, it’s surprising how much a how you doing text or thinking of you both message on Facebook goes.

Most people don’t know what to say and just avoid you altogether, but it’s the closest friends that know it’s just any distraction and the odd how you holding up mate that reminds you that there is people outside the IVF bubble you’re in and that they are concerned but sometimes just scared to ask in case its bad news. The recent scope advert for disability actually had some parallels. (Apart from the introduce yourself bit)

Hopefully other friends who’ve been getting a bit tetchy with me will now understand why I’ve be preoccupied / unavailable for lads nights out this past 12 months, at the end of the day getting Mrs S through this IVF have been priority 1 and any slight hiccup with it, it’s been my job to fix / smooth over / reassure that everything is going to be OK while under the surface panicking like hell myself & trying not to show it.

Right I’m off to stockpile on pallets of nappies & wipes and as I’ve twice as many to buy this time make sure you go out and buy a copy of my new book 50 Shades of Blonde! – 50 Shades of Blonde Book

As I said this is the end of our IVF journey but the beginning of a twin pregnancy, so I may well keep posting updates if anyone’s interested.

PoBz

(Father of 1 & Expectant Father of another 2 with very little hair / sanity left)

Here we go week 3!

I’m trying to alternate these with a heartfelt serious one followed by a childish funny one, so if you’re here for the laughs there is a couple but the comedy Friday thought will be next weeks one.

 


 

For a man fast approaching the big 40 thoughts of age & mortality set in, something that is very alien as until a couple of years ago I didn’t even think of myself as mature enough to be a father.

Thoughts like;

  • Have I left an impact on my surroundings?
  • Will I ever complete my bucket list? … <Link>
  • Did I really put enough effort into this life? (Apparently we only get one #YOLO!!)
  • Will anyone miss me when I’m gone?

Now don’t panic … I know that reads like I’m in a bout of depression …. I’m not, I don’t think so anyway!

 

I’ve just always thought of myself as very young at heart and a point blank refusal to grow up / always be the last man standing on a night out. However time catches up with us all and the birth of my little boy saw me give up playing rugby every Saturday and drinking to the small hours for a more sedate hobby of scuba diving which sees me home in time to spend time with the little man and put him to bed.

Things change / hobbies become less physical, nights out with the lads go from weekly to a couple of times a year when everyone’s calendars can align, but always seem a better night apart from the banter has switched from phwoar have you seen that fit bird over there to Peppa Pig / Iggle Piggle & potty training.

It’s strange to think I seem to have done all of my adult growing up in the last couple of years and the person responsible for that is my son, someone who is entirely reliant on me being a grown up (for the next 10-15 years anyway).

In a world filled with people leaving us way too young thoughts do drift to mortality and family health history and the determination to get fit and healthy which is why I keep signing up for Badass Mucker / Total Warrior / Tough Mudder, 2/3 every year just little targets to make sure I don’t sit on my ass and get fat(ter).

It just takes a little motivation and a group of good friends and you can stave of old age, stay young inside and like the saying goes “you’re only as old as the person you feel” so as the wife is a couple of years younger than me that will do nicely!!

Have a good weekend, see you all next week!!

PoBz

Link to all Friday Thoughts

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